im drinking this country out of the recession.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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