All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
