If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
