Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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