Can Purell be used as lube?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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