proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
