I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
