So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
