there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
