I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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