i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
