she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
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It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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