Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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