yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
