i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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