Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
