Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
