thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
