My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
