i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
