i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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