pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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