I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
