So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
