Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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