No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
