We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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