I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize