i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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