I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
