i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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