): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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