Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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