Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
17 year olds will be the death of me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize