My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
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I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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