You made me cry and you don't even care
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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