Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
