I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
too bad you live with your parents still
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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