The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
