the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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