dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
