Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just gargled with NyQuil
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
