He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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