Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
