just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i out mim tonsoeep
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