gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i dont even know how to be here
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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