my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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