Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!