did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
