1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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