He asked me if I "almost moaned"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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