Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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