Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
