Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
