I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
