I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
