She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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