Swine flu. Run for my life!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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