I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
literally had 100 drinks last night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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