I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
