I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
