Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
