Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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