i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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